Dear Mobile phone, thank you for being there when I'm in awkward situations. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
When people try to call me an angel but spell angle. Am I at least acute angle? :) — Sarahi Gonzalez Copy Share Image
That moment when you forgot your password and computer driving you insane when network fail. Computer says No! — Bel Claveria Carig Martinez Copy Share Image
My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person. — Enhance Dreams Copy Share Image
Dear Algebra stop trying to get us to find your x shes never coming back. And don't even think about asking y. — Mario Tomasello Copy Share Image
Im not saying I hate you. Im just saying if you got his by a bus, I would be driving that bus.:) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Truly love you endlessly. Every day without you is like a book without pages. I love you, I will always do, for… — F Abahusain Copy Share Image
I think if steroids are illegal for athletes why aint photoshop illegal for sum dez ratchet bitches on Facebook...IG & Twitter — IG:caonte_2_funny Copy Share Image
Hurricanes are like women. When they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave, they take your house and car — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ladies don't ask for much. They just want shoes, diamonds, less work, free money & a perfect man. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That moment when the ugliest guy you know gets a girlfriend and your still single. — Mario Tomasello Copy Share Image
If you bring the balonga..,believe ima bring the goddamn beef. Ima bring the whole cow. — JORdinary_[Ws Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Politician: Whoever shakes your hand before elections and your wallet after elections. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I know a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you predict the end of the world and nothing happens :P — Anonymous Copy Share Image
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Always have something beautiful in sight, even if it's only a poster on a wall. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At the eye doctor...Doctor: Please read the lowest line you can. Me: Made in China. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth — Benjamin Dm Copy Share Image
That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't always tweet when I'm drunk, but when I do, it's when I'm visiting my family. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When a woman agrees to give her husband head for no reason --- there is a reason. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
