If facebook did have a dislike button there would be a lot of hurt feelings. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In today's world, the key to success is to delete your Facebook account! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Got in a wreck with a smart car today, its totaled. My bike is fine though. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, FAITHFUL, That man who is married to a trusting wife (a definition that can be either truthful or cynical) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Warning going to sleep on sunday will cause monday. Please note that staying awake all night does not prevent monday there is… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
The only reason the laundrette on Albert Square in Eastenders is open is because none of the people on there can figure… — Sparki Dee Copy Share Image
Teen: Has sex, does drugs, bad grades Parent: Just don't do it again! ok? Teen: Doesn't do chores. Parent: YOU CHILD ARE… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For those who woke up in a Fussy mood this morning do me a favor, punch your spouse in their fucking face. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Texting while driving: yolo Forever alone: SOLO Marco: POLO Condom broke: OHNO You like men: HOMO Bitches crazy: FOSHO Run n!gga run:… — Patience Copy Share Image
Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back...So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I Followed you, I starred you, I retweeted you, I DM'ed you, I lost you, I blocked you, I never wanna see… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies: Men wouldn't cheat if you did a little less nagging, and a little more gagging. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My wife is so bad at sex, I close my eyes and pretend she's my hand. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There are exceptions is new replyback when someone disagree with your tweet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
If you're ever feeling down, just remember that I'll always be there to feel you up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Crisis: When dinner is ready, I CRISIS, and my sister comes running. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet. — Carlos Banks Copy Share Image
Woman who springs on innerspring this spring, gets offspring next spring. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That Rebecca Black moment when you get on the bus & don't know which seat to take. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes, the only thing left to do is to let go even if it's the hardest thing to do. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you think you're having a bad day just picture a T-Rex trying to masturbate. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
