Sometimes, all you need is a loaded Gun and some of your favorite assholes to shoot at. — Rajdeep Sarkar Copy Share Image
Disney Channel should stop making new shows and replay all the old ones. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A suicide note written by somebody who is not suicidal is an autobiography. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google and Wikipedia. — Enhance Dreams Copy Share Image
Friends are like condoms. They are always there to protect you when things get hard. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you want to find a prince, you're supposed to kiss a frog. Not f*ck the whole pond. — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
Is wondering exactly what the individual who discovered milk was initially doing with the cow.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If u cant change the life change the wife ... ;) life automatically change :P lmao . :) ;) — Kd Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she's a slut but whenever she eats a banana in public, she puts one hand behind her head. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Husbands are like guns ... keep one around for long enough and you're gonna want to shoot it! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I read the newspaper every day just to see if there's anyone I know in the obituaries or the underwear ads. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Playing the stock market is very similar to playing the lottery, except you actually win sometimes at the lottery — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when your chair makes a farting noise and you can't make the noise again to prove u didn't fart… — Lol Copy Share Image
If days of the week were sex acts, Monday would be a dry, passionless, handjob... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hopefully one day your life will be as cool as you make it appear on Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm pretty sure that if Walt Disney watched 'Disney Channel' today, he would cry — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They say sweat is fat crying, Boy please you cry more that you sweat during workouts — CJ Copy Share Image
I hate people that starts a Facebook post with I hate people datàªlol¬ — IG:catone_2_funny Copy Share Image
My mind is now so crowded with valuable information that I can't think. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Google+ is the gym of social networking: We all join, but nobody actually uses it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just bashed my head on the keyboard and accidently wrote the 5th Twilight book! — Rexxy Rhode Copy Share Image
Woman can take unpredictable to a whole new level of psycho if you test them... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You never realize what you have until its gone. Toilet paper is a good example. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
