I'm sorry, call me old fashioned but I think your shorts should be longer than your vagina. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm glad you work out your issues on Facebook rather than half-naked on stage in front of millions of people. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Open your eyes, close your mouth; See the flies, froze your laugh, cuz you now in dustbin — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'I need a boyfriend', No, you WANT a boyfriend. You NEED water, cause you sound thirsty. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My insomnia is so bad that even when I do sleep I dream about lying awake. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Somebody needs to start a restaurant called, 'Chick-Fil-Atheist' that's only open on Sunday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dont be a racist. Be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber; created by Japanese people, who speak English and look like Mexicans. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why is it that in girl tampons commercials they're always laughing and dancing? Shouldn't they be reving chainsaws & burning shit down? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girl: Which Is More Important To You? Your Life Or Me? Boy: Before I Answer That, Let Me Ask You Something. .… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It hurts when someone with whom you wanna talk ignores you,but it hurts worst when you ignore that person because they are… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why periods? Why can't mother nature just text me and be like 'Waddup girl. You ain't pregnant. Have a great week. Talk… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy killed a butterfly, dad saidNo butter for u He killed a honeybee, dad said No honey for u. Mom killed a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Truth is lms... truth is no one cares about likeing your status beacuse everyone knows what the truth is cus u post… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you are trying to get out of the aisle at the movies, and you have to pass by people, do you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Perks of knowing me: You can stand beside me and look 100 times more attractive than you actually are ... :P — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don't worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I bet the NSA stopped monitoring your phone records after seeing they were all drunk dials to exes at 4 a.m. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If facebook did have a dislike button there would be a lot of hurt feelings. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you: deleted and blocked. You may now kiss my ass b*tch. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In today's world, the key to success is to delete your Facebook account! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Got in a wreck with a smart car today, its totaled. My bike is fine though. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she's a slut, but I tried to put her name as my password and it said 'Error: too easy.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Awkward moment when you're dancing in the middle of the road and you didn't realize there was a car behind you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanks to Google, Wikipedia, and whoever the hell invented copy and paste. Thank you Guys. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry you're upset that three brutal murders by one of your players may impact your team's playoff chances. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Honesty is the best policy. Unless, of course, you're posting a Facebook Profile picture. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Saw a Chinese kid and a black kid wave to each other today. It gave me hope...for another Rush Hour movie... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May you live to be as old as the number of Instagram pictures you took of your birthday cake. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What is 2.5 inches long and can satisfy a woman every-time? A credit card. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If being a douche was an Olympic sport, I know some people that would have a gold medal! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
