I hate when a girl can't take a compliment: You're so pretty No I'm not, I'm ugly WELL.. YOU UGLY THEN, DAMN… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My girl asked me to do something to make her feel special...I bought that b*tch a wheelchair. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Apple was considering making an iPod for kids but apparently, the name 'iTouch Kids' didn't sit too well. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Google+ is the gym of social networking: We all join, but nobody actually uses it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Are we celebrating the fact that Guy Fawkes got caught trying to blow up parliament or he tried to have a go… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when girls are so insecure about them self's when they're freakin beautiful! It makes me think they just want attention!! .. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You don't take good pictures...when told, you say ''beauty is skin deep'' why didn't you have an x-ray scan then? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ghetto word of the Day - Disappointment. My Parole officer said if I miss disappointment they gone send me back to Jail. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
*Son walks in on dad in the shower* Son: Dad what's that hairy thing between your legs Dad: Well son that's the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sweet candies are nice to eat.Sweet words are easy to say. But, sweet people are hard to find. OH MY GOD! How… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A wise man once said... relationships are like jacking off… no doubt, they're amazing.. but they always end in a mess. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Friends are like condoms. They are always there to protect you when things get hard. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Disney Channel should stop making new shows and replay all the old ones. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm pretty sure that if Walt Disney watched 'Disney Channel' today, he would cry — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hopefully one day your life will be as cool as you make it appear on Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wife said she wanted something that went from 0 to 400 in 2 seconds…I got her a bathroom scale. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If days of the week were sex acts, Monday would be a dry, passionless, handjob... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life would be much easier if mosquitoes sucked, tension instead of blood — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Want to learn how to dance? Have a cold shower today at midnight, I bet, Youll rock like SHAKIRA :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Exit Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, unlock phone, check Facebook … — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My penis should make me breakfast on morning. It is always up before I am. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wouldn't need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Relationships nowadays = First week: I love you baby.. Second week: Together forever.. Third week: Single.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If 2 liars are talking to each other, do they believe what the other is saying? Just curious.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Our sincere condolences to the next woman Michael Douglas gives Catherine Zeta-Jones' HPV to. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My girlfriend took a pregnancy test today, and my worst fears have been realized.. she's just fat.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Obamacare is bringing relief to the millions of Americans who don't have to sign up for Obamacare. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
