I'm the kind of person who would come out of the gym...And go straight to McDonalds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
So your name is Will, But you don't call your crotch The Willderness, then what the fuck? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That frustrating moment when you don't finish your text before the damn light turns green... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Fall, Thank you for giving me a reason to wear cute boots and drink pumpkin spice lattes! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you see me smiling it's because I'm thinking of doing something evil or naughty. If you see me laughing it's because… — Emalie Newhall Copy Share Image
To you Dad. As Fathers Day approaches, I find myself missing you more than usual. If only Facebook had a link to… — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
I'm not all about labels,if I like something,im going to get it, regardless the brand name…as long as its real & not… — Syoung Copy Share Image
If you recall childhood, you may remember that the kids who stuck straws and cigarettes up their noses back then seemed funnier… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dude, wanna hang out?" "Nah, hanging out with my girl." "What happened to bros before hoes?" "That rule still goes, but she's… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook is like a fridge. When youre bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if theres anything… — Bilal Zahoor Copy Share Image
When You Read My Status & Question If It's About You, Its Not. Its Just Your Guilty Conscience. Stop Trying To Insert… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Most people don't realize this, But you can actually go to the gym without telling Facebook about it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you tickle someone and they're not even ticklish. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My excuse for being lazy: I'm not the real slim shady, so why would I stand up? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whenever I masturbate I always pretend my right hand has a British accent. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Niggas Be Bragging About Having Side Hoes . . . A Lot Of Y'all Niggas Be Side Niggas ... — Kevin Mccarty Copy Share Image
I hate it when I have a tweet in my head and my friends doesn't retweet it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't hate me for who I am now, hate me for who I'll become in your face. — Abisai Pena Copy Share Image
The amazing moment when you type your homework on google and found exactly what you need. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Makeup and high heels are a plus, but a great smile and personality should be a must. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Stop advertising your relationship on social networks; not everyone want to see you happy. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Keep your issues in your tissue box, and learn how to keep them out of your status box. — Blondie Copy Share Image
Me being mean: Can you shut the fuck up? Me being nice: Can you please shut the fuck up? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That horrifying moment when you put a ring on your finger and you cant take it off! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Philosopher: A masochistic fool who will be considered a genius once dead. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If she's still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don't deserve a sandwich. — Psyche_Zeroh Copy Share Image
MyWeakness; cute texts, tight hugs, and chill nights talking about everything & nothing. — King Dennie Copy Share Image
