You know you're on your period when everyone around you has an attitude problem. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Texting me with a signature, just got you added to the block list. Have a nice day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's always that person whom you wish their status was about you. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
America hasn't seen lazy yet, wait until McDonalds start delivering. — Jaylon Hillsman Copy Share Image
Dear iPod, when I put you on shuffle, what I really mean is play my favorite songs. Sincerely, next, next, next, next,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I never understood why people take pictures of themselves giving the finger. Was the camera mean to you? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Football season has officially started which marks the end of dating season. I'll try again next summer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when I'm staring at nothing in particular, and then realize I'm looking right at somebody. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I post a status and you automatically assume it's about you...Don't blame your guilty conscience on me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a woman asks you a question, its better to tell her the truth , chances are shes asking you because she… — Becca Copy Share Image
The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all your flaws, mistakes, & weaknesses, & still thinks you're completely amazing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its funny how I remember all the lyrics to every song from the 90²s, but forget why I walked into the next… — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
As the auto mechanic said to the Scoutmaster whose car horn was broken, Beep repaired. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
DO NOT expect a 'Bless You' after your 5th sneeze get that shit under fucking control. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you tickle my feet I am not responsible for what happens to your face. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My silence does not means I forgot..the mountain is silent but have volcano inside!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Choose your Facebook profile pic carefully. It'll be the one they use when you go missing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One of the great mysteries of life is how a man can leave his car keys in the refrigerator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can't believe it's 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girls spend hours deciding what to wear, and all guys do is try to picture us naked. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Walmart usually uses 4 checkouts, unless it's really busy then they use 1. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was kid, werewolves and vampires were scary. Now everyone wants to date them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Facebook is free too bad the phone there coming out with is but it isn't. — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your ex likes your new relationship status on facebook. — Mario Tomasello Copy Share Image
Embrace your imperfections for they are the only thing that truly belong to you — Anonymous Copy Share Image
