Comedian Quotes · Page 29

Most comedians weren't great athletes; that was the way they got noticed in high school.

— Judd Apatow

I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate…

— Dave Chappelle

Nobody is a professional comedian for the first five, six years they're doing it.

— Taylor Tomlinson

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

— Anonymous

If you can't write your own material, you have very little chance of making it as a comedian.

— Rodney Dangerfield

The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is…

— Alexei Sayle

Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That's the goal: To get popular enough so the…

— Gabriel Iglesias

I'm not a comedian. I don't make things funny if they're not funny. I don't invent funny stuff.

— Morgan Freeman

I was booked into the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas with three other comedians. We all were using the Riviera in-house shampoo,…

— Mitch Hedberg

Physics is very muddled again at the moment; it is much too hard for me anyway, and I wish I were a…

— Wolfgang Pauli

I thought that I was going to be a stand-up comedian or an actress. Turns out, I can't act my way out…

— Michelle Lujan Grisham

I'm a comedian. I make comic films and there are certain ideas that occur to me that are comic, with heavy, serious…

— Woody Allen

As a comedian, you're making so many observations, so many measurements. You might catch someone's eyes as you're telling a joke, and…

— Sean Lock

The most frightening thing about playing Dick Gregory is I've never done stand-up before, and I had to learn how to be…

— Joe Morton

The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he…

— Jack Dee

The danger for a comedian on Twitter is the same danger that any civilian faces: sometimes you gotta put that phone down…

— Rob Delaney

Same sex marriage isn't gay privilege, it's equal rights. Privilege would be something like gay people not paying taxes. Like churches don't.

— Ricky Gervais

I am learning every day to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me…

— Tracee Ellis Ross

I've never seen myself as a victim because of my physicality. If I did play that game, I wouldn't be the comedian…

— Ralphie May

For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.

— Bill Burr

A jolly feel good film with Vadivelu playing the comedian along with Rajni at his humourous best is 'Chandramukhi.'

— P. Vasu

I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get…

— Adam Sandler

I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be…

— Gary Gulman

People look upon me primarily as a comedian. I'm trying to get away from that, though I do like comedy.

— Fred MacMurray

My influences as a comedian and filmmaker are Albert Brooks, Lenny Bruce, Woody Allen, Andy Kaufman and John Cassevettes.

— Sam Seder

I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians…

— Demetri Martin

I'm not a natural comedian, as an artist. I studied comedy growing up. I would watch Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy and Martin…

— Brandon T. Jackson

A man only learns by two things; one is reading and the other is association with smarter people.

— Will Rogers

I'm not a broad comedy guy. I've been funny in movies, but I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who's sometimes funny.

— Matthew Lillard

If people leave the house wanting to see a comedian, they want to see someone speak out for themselves and share true…

— James Acaster

I'm a Sit Down Stand Up Comedian, whatever the hell that is. Maybe a writer with a short attention span and one…

— Rock Cowles

I like the ironic pomposity of a stand-up comedian. Like all those comedians thinking they can bring down Coca-Cola. They forget to…

— Ricky Gervais

I’ve come to view Jesus much the way I view Elvis. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me…

— John Fugelsang

I am not an educator and I'm not a journalist. I am a comedian. But I do truly believe that the point…

— Adam Conover

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

— George Carlin

Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'

— Joan Rivers

Being a comedian, it's hard. People hear 'YouTuber,' and they automatically think, 'a social warrior,' and you have to stand up for…

— Shane Dawson

Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood.

— Don Rickles

There are few lonelier sights than a good comedian being funny in a movie that doesn't know what funny is.

— Roger Ebert

I'm a big fan of comedians not having to apologize for anything. Nowadays it seems comedians are always apologizing for being funny.

— Kevin Dillon