"Researchers from Britain's Keele University have found that……" — Stephen Colbert
"Researchers from Britain's Keele University have found that swearing after an injury may help alleviate pain. Evidently, the pain that you feel is inversely proportional to the number of middle names you give Jesus."
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Stephen Colbert
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321 Quotes by Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert has 321 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!
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Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. What?s wrong with red, white and blue, USA Today?…
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Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you…
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Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and…
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Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.
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If it's called the USA Today, why is all the news from yesterday?
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I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you'll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the…
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Al Gore has a hit movie called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' I have an inconvenient truth for him: you're still not…
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First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in'…
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If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
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I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it…
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Young girls are obsessed with having a thigh gap. I blame the impossible body standards set by Spongebob.
See all 321 quotes by Stephen Colbert »
More Alleviate Quotes
This quote is filed under Alleviate Quotes,
one of 90 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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The prime goal is to alleviate suffering, and not to prolong life. And if your treatment does not alleviate suffering,…
— Christiaan Barnard
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Truth indeed rather alleviates than hurts, and will always bear up against falsehood, as oil does above water.
— Miguel de Cervantes
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The Commission agrees that the federal government should help alleviate these costs. The best way to do so is to…
— Barbara Jordan
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As life in general constituted much pain in the form of struggles against poverty, disease, ignorance, and emotional anguish, what…
— Aberjhani
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I would like to appeal to all those in whose hands the future of mankind lies, to use their power…
— Poul Hartling
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The good news is we have the technology and the tools to alleviate poverty on a global scale. All that…
— Natalie Portman
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Bodily labor alleviates the pains of the mind and from this arises the happiness of the poor
— Francois de La Rochefoucauld
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I have spent most of my time worrying about things that have never happened. Worrying is not an action! In…
— Mark Twain
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Give me ... a compassionate heart, quickly moved to grieve for the woes of others and to active pity for…
— Johann Arndt
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There are so many pressures that are put upon young women. Whatever we can do to alleviate that and help…
— Drew Barrymore
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In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company…
— John C. Dvorak
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In all things preserve integrity; and the consciousness of your own uprightness will alleviate the toil of business, soften the…
— Babe Paley
See all 90 Alleviate Quotes »