"I can't be gay! I'm a happily married……" — Stephen Colbert
"I can't be gay! I'm a happily married conservative, just like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig."
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Stephen Colbert
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321 Quotes by Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert has 321 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!
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Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. What?s wrong with red, white and blue, USA Today?…
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Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you…
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Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and…
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Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.
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If it's called the USA Today, why is all the news from yesterday?
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I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you'll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the…
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Al Gore has a hit movie called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' I have an inconvenient truth for him: you're still not…
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First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in'…
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If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
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I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it…
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Young girls are obsessed with having a thigh gap. I blame the impossible body standards set by Spongebob.
See all 321 quotes by Stephen Colbert »
More Conservative Quotes
This quote is filed under Conservative Quotes,
one of 1,208 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution.
— Hannah Arendt
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We need a strong, bold constitutional conservative who won't back down and who will fight for the values we believe…
— Michele Bachmann
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The General Strike has taught the working class more in four days than years of talking could have done.
— Arthur Balfour
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Our 'neoconservatives' are neither new nor conservative, but old as Bablyon and evil as Hell.
— Edward Abbey
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I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.
— Roseanne Barr
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A government of laws, and not of men.
— John Adams
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Good for you, you have a heart, you can be a liberal. Now, couple your heart with your brain, and…
— Glenn Beck
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What does it mean to be a conservative? I don't even know anymore. I know what it means to me.…
— Glenn Beck
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I am a conservative, but I am not a zombie.
— Glenn Beck
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No one is guaranteed happiness. You can pursue it, but if you happen to find success along the way on…
— Glenn Beck
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When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung.
— Henry Ward Beecher
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them…
— Ambrose Bierce
See all 1,208 Conservative Quotes »