"This is a test. It is only a……" — Robert Benchley
"This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation."
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Robert Benchley
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87 Quotes by Robert Benchley
Robert Benchley has 87 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
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Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
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A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before…
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Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the…
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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
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In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
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Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
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The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
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Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
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Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
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I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
See all 87 quotes by Robert Benchley »
More Actual Quotes
This quote is filed under Actual Quotes,
one of 1,266 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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The fatigue produced on the muscles of the human frame does not altogether depend on the actual force employed in…
— Charles Babbage
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Where do we say that a cell became a blade of grass, which became a starfish, which became a cat,…
— Michele Bachmann
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The Canadian run can be no different, at least in terms of actual running.
— Dennis Banks
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Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
— Dave Barry
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I do love to eavesdrop. It's inspirational, not only for subject matter but for actual dialogue, the way people talk.
— Lynda Barry
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Percentage margins don't matter. What matters always is dollar margins: the actual dollar amount. Companies are valued not on their…
— Jeff Bezos
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It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.
— Ambrose Bierce
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Sure, I suffered a lot. But it's not like the end of the world and it's not who I am.…
— Ben Affleck
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I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was…
— Elayne Boosler
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The importance to the writer of first writing must be out of all proportion of the actual value of what…
— Elizabeth Bowen
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Congress acknowledged that society's accumulated myths and fears about disability and disease are as handicapping as are the physical limitations…
— William J. Brennan
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You don't want flame to hit your food. Flame is bad. Flame does nasty things to food. It makes soot…
— Alton Brown
See all 1,266 Actual Quotes »