Quote by Paula Poundstone

“The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.”

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More by Paula Poundstone

You know, in politics when you come in third, it's a win.

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I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music,…

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There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.

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I like to work on New Year's Eve. It has a nice spirit; a nice feel about it. If you are all about the…

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I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.

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“Deep-rooted happiness may require a sense of purpose. If I don't feel that I am in some small way contributing to the greater good,…

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The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

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I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a…

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I can make things, but I don't cook them, exactly. Like salmon, I can stick that in a pan. Or the other day I…

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I've always thought that if my death was imminent, I would read. When I can't focus on a book, I tend to keep reading…

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I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay - away from it.

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I only do two things in my life, and that's take care of my kids and work. Fortunately, these are my favorite things to…

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