Communication Quote by Marshall B. Rosenberg
“Any evaluation which implies rightness or wrongness is a tragic, suicidal expression of an unmet need. Tragic, first because it decreases our likelihood of getting our need met! Even if we think it. And secondly, because it increases the likelihood of violence. That's why I'm suggesting any evaluation which implies rightness or wrongness is a tragic, suicidal expression of an unmet need. Say the need! Learn a need-consciousness.”
About This Quote
Source Book: “Nonviolent Communication” (1999)
Evaluating actions as right or wrong fuels unmet needs, leading to frustration and potential aggression; recognizing needs reduces conflict.
In simple terms: Judging right/wrong fuels unmet needs and conflict.
Key Takeaway
Identify needs, avoid moral judgments.
Themes
conflict resolution
needs
communication
psychology
empathy
Mood
calm
instructive
empathetic
Type
educational
self‑help
psychological
When to use this quote
- personal relationships
- workplace disputes
- mediations
- education
Key Concepts
need-awareness
nonviolent communication
emotional regulation
Questions to Reflect On
- What needs are hidden behind your judgments?
- How can you reframe criticism as a need?
A Different Perspective
People may resist shifting from moral judgments to need-focused language.
![“To me there is not only right or wrong but many shades in between...The real tragedies in life are not in choices between right and wrong. Only the most callous of persons choose what they know to be wrong. Real tragedy comes [illegible] in a dilemma of evaluating what is right...Real dilemmas are…” quote by Henry Kissinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/3bf/henry-kissinger-5357_black-and-white_to-me-there-is-not-only-right-or-wrong-b_3047439.jpg)
