Around the corner Quote by Laurie Notaro

“It was the gift that every girl dreams of, to be dead long enough for your parents to realize how meaningless their lives were…

— Laurie Notaro

“Sure, I'd like to lose some weight, but a tapeworm is the last way I'd like to do it, except becoming a prisoner of…

— Laurie Notaro

“As a result of that experience, I do think all Anthropologies should provide a courtesy volcano just outside their dressing rooms so every woman…

— Laurie Notaro

“The lesson here is that a giant cupcake tattoo is typically an indication of two things: (1) Sister go her hands on some crystal…

— Laurie Notaro

“Goddamnit I've never been the "pretty friend..." She's the one who wears the perfect eyeliner, it never gathers like a crowd in her tear…

— Laurie Notaro

I majored in journalism at Arizona State University, where I began writing the columns I write now, but I cannot, in good conscience, refer…

— Laurie Notaro

I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.

— Laurie Notaro

“There is a (slight) chance that I might be going to hell.”

— Laurie Notaro

“I just might kill someone in my next job, and I'll be honest here, I couldn't do the time. Really. No way. I couldn't…

— Laurie Notaro

“Dr. Bone Specialist came in, made me stand up and hobble across the room, checked my reflexes, and then made me lie down on…

— Laurie Notaro

“Asininity was puddling all around me in quantities too vast to soak up. - It Looked Different on the Model”

— Laurie Notaro

“Weddings, I began to understand, were vile, filthy things when they ran amuck.”

— Laurie Notaro