Christmas Quote by Larry the Cable Guy

You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not…

— Larry the Cable Guy

When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you…

— Larry the Cable Guy

People always ask my mom what I did as a kid. My mom says, "He wasn't a bad kid. He was never an unruly…

— Larry the Cable Guy

There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars."

— Larry the Cable Guy

I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man,…

— Larry the Cable Guy

I've been down in Florida since 1979. When you're born in Nebraska you really can't explain it.

— Larry the Cable Guy

I've been fortunate, I've been blessed, and I attribute my success to all my fans. People want to do things with you when you…

— Larry the Cable Guy

As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm…

— Larry the Cable Guy

I LOVE WAL-MART. I CONSIDER MY JOKES TO BE VERY JEUVINILLE. STUFF A 14 YEAR OLD WOULD LAUGH AT BECAUSE THATS THE SENCE OF…

— Larry the Cable Guy

I was born and raised in Pawnee City, Nebraska. I lived right next to the sale barn and I raised pigs. My dad was…

— Larry the Cable Guy

What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh,…

— Larry the Cable Guy

I was scared into being good. But I'm sure I did regular kid stuff.

— Larry the Cable Guy