Dirty dishes Quote by Karen MacInerney

“I'm a child because I like peanut butter?”

— Jodi Ellen Malpas

“Tell the children to do all their business before they come over. I do not change diapers.”

— Sophie Oak

“You know what I love about Cookie Crisp cereal?” He’s staring at his spoon. I’ve never seen one person ingest so much cereal. I…

— Emma Chase

“Have you ever had such a horrible day that you wondered why your mother didn’t just eat you at birth like a gerbil does…

— Erin Lynn

“I’m not opposed to new people, I just don’t like their packaging (diapers).”

— Jarod Kintz

“I need to hire a babysitter for Friday night. I also need to buy myself some adult diapers.”

— Jarod Kintz

“My hands fell asleep, so I washed them with hot coffee. Then I had donuts for breakfast, by way of spinning circles in my…

— Jarod Kintz

“I was husband for a week. Changed the baby's diapers. There's somebody in a suburb in Melbourne who doesn't even know i wiped his…

— Keith Richards

“I bit into the oatmeal. Same levels- now the oats, well dried, but not so well watered, then the raisins, half tasteless, made from…

— Aimee Bender

“What? My gastrointestinal clock was ticking. I wanted a food baby.”

— Gena Showalter

“My favorite snack is vagina. The only thing I hate is unwrapping all that saran wrap.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I need a night out away from crayon drawings on the wall, mushed food in the carpets, and poo-splosions in nappies.”

— K.M. Golland