"It's not that the Democrats are playing checkers……" — Jon Stewart
"It's not that the Democrats are playing checkers and the Republicans are playing chess. It's that the Republicans are playing chess and the Democrats are in the nurse's office because once again they glued their balls to their thighs."
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Jon Stewart
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230 Quotes by Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart has 230 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates…
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I'm doing everything I can to sabotage my career. It's a little thing called "fear of success".
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The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is…
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Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let…
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Bad jokes and gay marriage are destroying this country. But torture can save it.
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Don't confuse [Father's Day] with Valentine's Day, and here's why. Boy, will you creep him out. I can just tell…
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Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys…
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I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried…
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The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'
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Is listening to Pink Floyd in the dark a medical condition?
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I've always run by the hierarchy of 'If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If…
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A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him…
See all 230 quotes by Jon Stewart »
More Balls Quotes
This quote is filed under Balls Quotes,
one of 1,827 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Let me put it this way: I think Republicans tend to keep the ball in play, Democrats go for broke.
— Arthur Ashe
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I don't care who you are, you're going to choke in certain matches. You get to a point where your…
— Arthur Ashe
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I guess I do prefer a ball cap. I have performed without a cap, mostly at funerals and weddings.
— Rodney Atkins
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I like to juggle with one ball at a time. Then I put the ball down and do nothing for…
— Rowan Atkinson
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It's a great day for a ball game; let's play two!
— Ernie Banks
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For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
— Dave Barry
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A ball had passed between my body and the right arm which supported him, cutting through the sleeve and passing…
— Clara Barton
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Some people are born to lift heavy weights, some are born to juggle golden balls.
— Max Beerbohm
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Go on daddy-daughter dates and father-and-sons' outings with your children. As a family, go on campouts and picnics, to ball…
— Ezra Taft Benson
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If people don't want to come out to the ball park, nobody's gonna stop 'em.
— Yogi Berra
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Leadership is diving for a loose ball, getting the crowd involved, getting other players involved. It's being able to take…
— Larry Bird
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It doesn't matter who scores the points, it's who can get the ball to the scorer.
— Larry Bird
See all 1,827 Balls Quotes »