"Do you know how many movies I wrote…" — Jon Stewart

"Do you know how many movies I wrote when I was high?"

— Jon Stewart

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230 Quotes by Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart has 230 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates…
I'm doing everything I can to sabotage my career. It's a little thing called "fear of success".
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is…
Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let…
Bad jokes and gay marriage are destroying this country. But torture can save it.
Don't confuse [Father's Day] with Valentine's Day, and here's why. Boy, will you creep him out. I can just tell…
Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys…
I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried…
The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'
Is listening to Pink Floyd in the dark a medical condition?
I've always run by the hierarchy of 'If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If…
A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him…

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More Funny Quotes

This quote is filed under Funny Quotes, one of 52,060 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would… — Hannah Arendt
These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin

See all 52,060 Funny Quotes »