"When turkeys mate they think of swans." — Johnny Carson

"When turkeys mate they think of swans."

— Johnny Carson

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55 Quotes by Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson has 55 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have…
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the…
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you…
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

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More Drinking Quotes

This quote is filed under Drinking Quotes, one of 1,652 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
Drinking intensifies all your pressures and your needs. — Desi Arnaz
It is a sign of a dull nature to occupy oneself deeply in matters that concern the body; for instance,… — David Bailey
A drink a day keeps the shrink away. — Edward Abbey
Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up… — Roseanne Barr
I know not, sir, whether Bacon wrote the works of Shakespeare, but if he did not, it seems to me… — James M. Barrie
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to… — Dave Barry
You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float. — John Barrymore
A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. — James Beard
I am a drinker with writing problems. — Brendan Behan
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? — Robert Benchley
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony. — Robert Benchley

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