"Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used……" — Johnny Carson

"Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'."

— Johnny Carson

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55 Quotes by Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson has 55 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have…
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the…
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you…
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

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More Girl Quotes

This quote is filed under Girl Quotes, one of 12,450 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse. — Hannah Arendt
Even in New York, there are a lot of very attractive girls pedaling around. That just happens to be one… — Paul Auster
Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized. — Margaret Atwood
Give a girl an education and introduce her properly into the world, and ten to one but she has the… — Jane Austen
Good-humoured, unaffected girls, will not do for a man who has been used to sensible women. They are two distinct… — Jane Austen
Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed in love a little now and then. — Jane Austen
To look almost pretty is an acquisition of higher delight to a girl who has been looking plain for the… — Jane Austen
Where youth and diffidence are united, it requires uncommon steadiness of reason to resist the attraction of being called the… — Jane Austen
I was in preschool and a girl actually kissed me on the cheek. I didn't know what to do. I… — Jensen Ackles
I get nervous around girls for the first time. Once I'm in, I can take the reins and go. It's… — Jensen Ackles
I love the smell of shampoo on a girl's hair. You can walk past someone and be like, 'Wow, you… — Jensen Ackles
I'm into a casual-dressing girl: blue jeans and a tank top is super sexy. But the sexiest thing on a… — Jensen Ackles

See all 12,450 Girl Quotes »