"I once dated a guy so dumb he……" — Joan Rivers
"I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked"
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Joan Rivers
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245 Quotes by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers has 245 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
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I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
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We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get…
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Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes…
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief…
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I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
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A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of…
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My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never…
See all 245 quotes by Joan Rivers »
More Count Quotes
This quote is filed under Count Quotes,
one of 1,913 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over…
— Aristotle
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But if nothing but soul, or in soul mind, is qualified to count, it is impossible for there to be…
— Aristotle
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Whether if soul did not exist time would exist or not, is a question that may fairly be asked; for…
— Aristotle
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Who can map out the various forces at play in one soul? Man is a great depth, O Lord. The…
— Saint Augustine
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All science requires mathematics. The knowledge of mathematical things is almost innate in us. This is the easiest of sciences,…
— Roger Bacon
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We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not figures on a dial. We should count time by heart throbs.…
— Philip James Bailey
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It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work…
— Tallulah Bankhead
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Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the…
— Dave Barry
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Beauty is not something you can count on. Usually, when people say you are beautiful, it is when there is…
— Emmanuelle Beart
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I find it almost comforting to count calories, because it makes me conscious of what I'm eating. But on Super…
— Kristen Bell
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Session work makes you more strict. You can't hit notes all over the place. You've got to make each one…
— Ritchie Blackmore
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There's a fascinating statistic: One out of every four people in America has visited New York since 9/11. It is…
— Michael Bloomberg
See all 1,913 Count Quotes »