Anger Quote by Jeanette Winterson
““Living with life is very hard. Mostly we do our best to stifle life--to be tame or to be wanton. To be tranquillised or raging. Extremes have the same effect; they insulate us from the intensity of life. And extremes--whether of dullness or fury--successfully prevent feeling. I know our feelings can be so unbearable that we employ ingenious strategies--unconscious strategies--to keep those feelings away. We do a feelings-swap, where we avoid feeling sad or lonely or afraid or inadequate, and feel angry instead. It can work the other way, too--sometimes you do need to feel angry, not inadequate; sometimes you do need to feel love and acceptance, and not the tragic drama of your life. It takes courage to feel the feeling--and not trade it on the feelings-exchange, or even transfer it altogether to another person. You know how in couples one person is always doing all the weeping or the raging while the other one seems so calm and reasonable? I understood that feelings were difficult for me although I was overwhelmed by them.””
About This Quote
Source Novel: “The Passion” (excerpt), 1987
People often avoid intense emotions by swapping them for more manageable feelings, but true growth requires confronting the original feeling directly.
In simple terms: Avoiding feelings leads to emotional shortcuts.
Face feelings head‑on.
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- relationship counseling
- personal therapy
- self‑reflection
Key Concepts
Questions to Reflect On
- What feeling are you most likely to replace?
- How can you safely experience uncomfortable emotions?
Suppressing emotions can cause long‑term distress.