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Ifs Quote by Jay Mohr

“If it's going to really make them happy for me…” quote by Jay Mohr — Download Open image

“If it's going to really make them happy for me to do it, I'll do Walken. I've got no problem with it at all.”

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Ifs No problem Problem

More by Jay Mohr

I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ and I…

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You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes." That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke…

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I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the…

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Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind.

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My wife and I have long discussions about [George] Carlin, and we refuse to accept that he died an atheist. It's just, confounding. When…

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I remember I used to go to The Laugh Factory and just goof off onstage, and then I'd see Dane Cook. He did a…

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“If you want God to laugh, make plans.”

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I didn't want to fight a guy from England. What if I lose? Not that English guys aren't strong, but who wants to get…

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All that waiting around for a glimmer of stage time, just getting angry every week... It was just an oppressive, horrible, horrible place to…

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First of all, my wife writes half my act. I don't know how I could "steal" from my wife.

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If there are 1,500 people in a theater and they're all there to see you, there are no other guys. You're the guy. So…

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I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have…

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More Ifs quotes

Women still, when they have breast cancer, go to work; they still lead their lives. They have to. I just did what I was…

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Most of us are convinced that we are our egos, which is who we think we are. The ego is part of our incarnation.…

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Histories never conclude; they just pause their prose. Their stories are, if they are truthful, untidy affairs, resistant to windings-up and sortings-out. They beat…

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If you ask an introvert a question, wait until she thinks about it. Introverts think before speaking, not through speaking. If you want to…

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Many individuals spend a considerable portion of their lifetimes in terror of one imagined catastrophe or another. The classic is that your immortal soul…

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Obviously, if you don't love life, you can't enjoy an oyster.

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If I don't have pressure, I don't function.

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If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong.

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I understand that it's the music that keeps me alive... That's my lifeblood. And to give that up for, like, the TV, the cars,…

Bruce Springsteen

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If we gave up our freedom as the price of security, we would no longer be the great nation that we are.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

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If my campaign is not in the debate, we will not be talking about how we really fix this problem of endless and expanding…

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Nothing is so powerful as an insight into human nature... what compulsions drive a man, what instincts dominate his action. If you know these…

William Bernbach

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