"I can provide a witness who didn't see……" — Jarod Kintz
"I can provide a witness who didn't see me at the scene of the crime. That witness can also prove they didn't see me anywhere else either, thus showing that I didn't exist at that moment in time."
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Jarod Kintz
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53 Quotes by Jarod Kintz
Jarod Kintz has 53 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I hate when women give me that look. That overlook.
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Im reminded of Orville Tethington, inventor of the worlds first steam-powered fog machine. Hes also the guy who, after the…
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I just recently figured out how mirrors work. Pretty cool. That guy always hungrily staring at my naked body was…
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Nothing, Everything, Anything, Something: If you have nothing, then you have everything, because you have the freedom to do anything,…
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I saw this beautiful girl the other day. She had an ass behind her that seemed to go on for…
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Sometimes the thing that brings us together also pulls us apart. Sort of like a zipper.
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Im not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, Im dying my hair tonight.
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If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt.
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I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to…
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The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasnt hungry, I just wanted to call some plays.
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A hotel is a temporary aquarium for people. Thats why I travel with a fishing pole, and erectile dysfunction medicine.
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I went to a football game once and got punched in the face, but you couldnt tell because I was…
See all 53 quotes by Jarod Kintz »
More Anywhere Quotes
This quote is filed under Anywhere Quotes,
one of 2,209 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I don't miss anything ever. Because to me, missing something is like going backward a little bit. I don't miss…
— Fred Armisen
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There is a single light of science, and to brighten it anywhere is to brighten it everywhere.
— Isaac Asimov
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It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
— Francis of Assisi
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Of course, some would say if you have a performing inclination, then you should become a lawyer. That's a platform…
— Rowan Atkinson
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Music can be made anywhere, is invisible and does not smell.
— Wystan Hugh Auden
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It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes…
— Russell Baker
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I'm the kind of person who does not want to be anywhere that I'm not wanted.
— Alec Baldwin
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My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go…
— John Barrymore
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If a man cannot be a Christian in the place where he is, he cannot be a Christian anywhere.
— Henry Ward Beecher
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In Vegas, you have an audience you can't find anywhere else. It's from all over the country. You play Seattle,…
— Lewis Black
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Anywhere, anytime ordinary people are given the chance to choose, the choice is the same: freedom, not tyranny; democracy, not…
— Tony Blair
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One day I realized that I wasn't getting anywhere by blaming other people for my circumstances. I finally understood: Even…
— Mary J. Blige
See all 2,209 Anywhere Quotes »