"Im reminded of Orville Tethington, inventor of the……" — Jarod Kintz
"Im reminded of Orville Tethington, inventor of the worlds first steam-powered fog machine. Hes also the guy who, after the Germans invented the flame thrower in WWI, decided to counteract it with his own creation, the candle thrower. The candle thrower was only battle tested once, and after fifteen minutes the war zone was littered with lit candles. Upon returning home after the war, some of the soldiers suffered such extreme and bizarre cases of PTSD that anytime a civilian lit a match or used their lighter, the soldiers would hit the ground and start singing Happy Birthday."
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Jarod Kintz
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53 Quotes by Jarod Kintz
Jarod Kintz has 53 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I hate when women give me that look. That overlook.
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I just recently figured out how mirrors work. Pretty cool. That guy always hungrily staring at my naked body was…
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Nothing, Everything, Anything, Something: If you have nothing, then you have everything, because you have the freedom to do anything,…
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I saw this beautiful girl the other day. She had an ass behind her that seemed to go on for…
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Sometimes the thing that brings us together also pulls us apart. Sort of like a zipper.
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Im not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, Im dying my hair tonight.
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If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt.
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I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to…
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The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasnt hungry, I just wanted to call some plays.
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A hotel is a temporary aquarium for people. Thats why I travel with a fishing pole, and erectile dysfunction medicine.
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I went to a football game once and got punched in the face, but you couldnt tell because I was…
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The morning always has a way of creeping up on me and peeking in my bedroom windows. The sunrise is…
See all 53 quotes by Jarod Kintz »
More Anytime Quotes
This quote is filed under Anytime Quotes,
one of 529 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I'm not an awards-driven person in anything. Anytime you do get caught up in that, you usually end up getting…
— Alec Baldwin
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A songwriter writes songs all the time, whereas just writing a song can be done by anyone, anytime.
— Bryan Adams
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But really, anytime, I play on a practice pad as much as I can.
— Travis Barker
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A good day for Barack Obama is anytime the dominant topic of discussion is anything but the economy.
— Bob Beauprez
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
— Milton Berle
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Anytime you put a movie out it's subject to such scrutiny and such criticism.
— Halle Berry
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Anywhere, anytime ordinary people are given the chance to choose, the choice is the same: freedom, not tyranny; democracy, not…
— Tony Blair
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I can unload my opinion on anybody at anytime.
— Anthony Bourdain
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Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead.
— Les Brown
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Anytime I sing the anthem, it is an honor and my heart beats out of my chest.
— Luke Bryan
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Anytime you have a fellow artist say, 'Loving the new Luke Bryan album,' that's awesome.
— Luke Bryan
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Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can - there will always come a time when you…
— Sarah Caldwell
See all 529 Anytime Quotes »
