"The first thing was, I learned to forgive……" — Jack Handey
"The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, "Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me.""
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Ahead Quotes
This quote is filed under Ahead Quotes,
one of 2,602 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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The life ahead can only be glorious if you learn to live in total harmony with the Lord.
— Sai Baba
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I put my career in second place throughout both my marriages and it suffered. I don't regret it. You make…
— Lauren Bacall
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Put your trust in the Lord and go ahead. Worry gets you no place.
— Roy Acuff
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Stand-up came out of three things. Frustration, necessity and arrogance. I didn't have a great career ahead of me in…
— Eric Bana
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Oh, I would love to be a motivational speaker. I have pulled myself out of a million potholes, and I…
— Drew Barrymore
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There is only one way left to escape the alienation of present day society: to retreat ahead of it.
— Roland Barthes
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We can't cross that bridge until we come to it, but I always like to lay down a pontoon ahead…
— Bernard Baruch
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The great person is ahead of their time, the smart make something out of it, and the blockhead, sets themselves…
— Jean Baudrillard
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The worst is still ahead of us. But no one in Washington has the spine to tell you that.
— Glenn Beck
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No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy today, mix good cheer with friends today enjoy it…
— Henry Ward Beecher
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On the Northern Ireland question, for instance, the British and Irish governments prohibit media contact with members of the IRA,…
— Kate Adie
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In nonviolence you must go full steam ahead, if you want the good to come speedily you must go about…
— Vinoba Bhave
See all 2,602 Ahead Quotes »