"It's funny that pirates were always going around……" — Jack Handey
"It's funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating."
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Always Going Quotes
This quote is filed under Always Going Quotes,
one of 481 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I've got too many of my friends that retired and went home and got on a rocking chair, and about…
— Red Adair
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Playing a Fender is an art itself. They're always going out of tune.
— Ritchie Blackmore
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Whenever you have a crisis, you're always going to have the extremists taking advantage of the situation.
— Abdallah II
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If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it's going to happen anyhow.
— Mitch Albom
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The rich are always going to say that, you know, just give us more money and we'll go out and…
— Warren Buffett
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You're always going to have extremists in every religion.
— Abdallah II
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You're always going to have terrorism.
— Abdallah II
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My son is so fortunate, you know. He's always going to have food. Yes, my children are going to be…
— Gisele Bundchen
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But…
— Adam Carolla
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I believe that things are always going to work out, even if in the beginning it doesn't look like they…
— Benjamin Carson
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Tim also has enough confidence so that it always looks like a Tim Burton film, but it really is collaborative.…
— Helena Bonham Carter
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I'm always going to live in Texas. Texas is my home - it'll be my home forever.
— Kelly Clarkson
See all 481 Always Going Quotes »