"If you're in a boxing match, try not……" — Jack Handey
"If you're in a boxing match, try not to let the other guy's glove touch your lips, because you don't know where that glove has been."
—
Jack Handey
★
★
★
★
★
0.0 avg (0 ratings)
397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
-
If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
-
I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
-
People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
-
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
-
I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
-
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
-
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
-
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
-
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
-
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
-
MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
-
I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Been Quotes
This quote is filed under Been Quotes,
one of 43,316 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
-
I don't think about my previous success. I'm happy that the work I've done has been very successful.
— Aaliyah
-
It is in the very nature of things human that every act that has once made its appearance and has…
— Hannah Arendt
-
No punishment has ever possessed enough power of deterrence to prevent the commission of crimes. On the contrary, whatever the…
— Hannah Arendt
-
Having been a child actor, I remember how directors would trick me to get good performances out of me. I…
— Asia Argento
-
On the field, blacks have been able to be super giants. But, once our playing days are over, this is…
— Hank Aaron
-
He who is to be a good ruler must have first been ruled.
— Aristotle
-
Even when laws have been written down, they ought not always to remain unaltered.
— Aristotle
-
Every art and every inquiry, and similarly every action and choice, is thought to aim at some good; and for…
— Aristotle
-
Whether if soul did not exist time would exist or not, is a question that may fairly be asked; for…
— Aristotle
-
I guess I wanted to leave America for awhile. It wasn't that I wanted to become an expatriate, or just…
— Paul Auster
-
Stories in which the destruction of society occurs are explorations of social fears and issues that filmmakers, novelists, playwrights, painters…
— J. J. Abrams
-
Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of…
— Richard Armour
See all 43,316 Been Quotes »