"If I had a nickname, I think I……" — Jack Handey
"If I had a nickname, I think I would want it to be "Prince of Weasels", because then I could go up and bite people and they would turn around and go, "What the-?" And then they would recognize me, and go, "Oh, it's you, the Prince of Weasels.""
—
Jack Handey
★
★
★
★
★
0.0 avg (0 ratings)
397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
-
If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
-
I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
-
People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
-
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
-
I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
-
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
-
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
-
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
-
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
-
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
-
MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
-
I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Bite Quotes
This quote is filed under Bite Quotes,
one of 688 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
-
Don't let the same dog bite you twice.
— Chuck Berry
-
I find it quite hard to sum up my relationship in a sound bite. I feel that it trivializes it…
— Emily Blunt
-
My stories run up and bite me on the leg - I respond by writing down everything that goes on…
— Ray Bradbury
-
I love all people. I hate no one. And, you know, when you take a subject and you reduce it…
— Kirk Cameron
-
Mad, is he? Then I hope that he will bite some of my other generals!
— George III
-
Thoughts, like fleas, jump from man to man. But they don't bite everybody.
— Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
-
You must have complete determination. The worst opponent you can come across is one whose aim has become an obsession.…
— Bruce Lee
-
It's not about what you did yesterday, it's what you do tomorrow. If you rely too much on yesterday, tomorrow…
— John Vanbiesbrouck
-
Don't be a time manager, be a priority manager. Cut your major goals into bite-sized pieces. Each small priority or…
— Denis Waitley
-
And what's romance? Usually, a nice little tale where you have everything As You Like It, where rain never wets…
— D. H. Lawrence
-
I always think before an important shot: What is the worst that can happen on this shot? I can whiff…
— Cary Middlecoff
-
And here am I, budding among the ruins with only sorrow to bite on, as if weeping were a seed…
— Pablo Neruda
See all 688 Bite Quotes »