"I don't think God put me on this……" — Jack Handey

"I don't think God put me on this planet to judge others. I think he put me on this planet to gather specimens and take them back to my home planet."

— Jack Handey

Back Quotes Deep Thought Quotes Gather Quotes God Quotes God Put Quotes He Put Quotes He Put Me Quotes Home Quotes Home Planet Quotes I Think Quotes Judge Quotes Judge Others Quotes Judging Quotes Me Quotes My Home Quotes Others Quotes Planet Quotes Planets Quotes Put Quotes Put Me Quotes Specimens Quotes Take Quotes Take Them Quotes Take Them Back Quotes Them Quotes Them Back Quotes Think Quotes Think God Quotes Thinking Quotes

397 Quotes by Jack Handey

Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »

More Deep Thought Quotes

This quote is filed under Deep Thought Quotes, one of 444 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal. — Aristotle
Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach. — Aristotle
What it lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do. — Aristotle
To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time. — Leonard Bernstein
Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. — James Bovard
Humor is just another defense against the universe. — Mel Brooks
When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful… — Leo Burnett
No pressure, no diamonds. — Thomas Carlyle
In the uttermost meaning of the words, thought is devout, and devotion is thought. Deep calls unto deep. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed. — Bruce Lee
I never could do anything with figures, never had any talent for mathematics, never accomplished anything in my efforts at… — Mark Twain
The chief distinction in the intellectual powers of the two sexes is shown by mans attaining to a higher eminence,… — Charles Darwin

See all 444 Deep Thought Quotes »