"Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend……" — George Carlin

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the… - George Carlin

"Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws."

— George Carlin

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546 Quotes by George Carlin

George Carlin has 546 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is…
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why…
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set…
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it…
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then…
The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

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More Boring Quotes

This quote is filed under Boring Quotes, one of 1,489 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

The beginning of Canadian cultural nationalism was not 'Am I really that oppressed?' but 'Am I really that boring?' — Margaret Atwood
Perfection is boring. If a face doesn't have mistakes, it's nothing. — Kevyn Aucoin
I think if we didn't contradict ourselves, it would be awfully boring. It would be tedious to be alive. — Paul Auster
There is no singing anymore, everything is yelling and shouting and rapping and that is real boring to a guy… — Sebastian Bach
I have never described the time I was in Doctor Who as anything except a kind of ecstatic success, but… — Tom Baker
I have a fear of being boring. — Christian Bale
Working out is incredibly boring. I swear it's true that the bigger your muscles get, the fewer brain cells you… — Christian Bale
Happy relationships are boring. We all want them in our own life. But I don't want to watch them on… — Alan Ball
I would sum up my fear about the future in one word: boring. And that's my one fear: that everything… — J. G. Ballard
I enjoy my job as long as I can create a character, otherwise it's boring. — Javier Bardem
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. — Dave Barry
Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down. — Dave Barry

See all 1,489 Boring Quotes »