"If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill……" — George Carlin
"If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?"
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George Carlin
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546 Quotes by George Carlin
George Carlin has 546 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is…
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Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why…
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The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set…
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it…
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then…
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The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
See all 546 quotes by George Carlin »
More Considered Quotes
This quote is filed under Considered Quotes,
one of 1,970 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of…
— Fred Astaire
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They allow us to disrespect our Black woman. A lot of these things would be considered criminal if it were…
— Afrika Bambaataa
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My mother wanted me to be friends only with children she considered socially suitable.
— Brigitte Bardot
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The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
— Dave Barry
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A desire to be observed, considered, esteemed, praised, beloved, and admired by his fellows is one of the earliest as…
— John Adams
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The Declaration of Independence I always considered as a theatrical show. Jefferson ran away with all the stage effect of…
— John Adams
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Everything considered, work is less boring than amusing oneself.
— Charles Baudelaire
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It is necessary to work, if not from inclination, at least from despair. Everything considered, work is less boring than…
— Charles Baudelaire
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The fact that the church is convinced of not having the right to confer priestly ordination on women is now…
— Pope Benedict XVI
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In the scriptures there is no such thing as righteous pride. It is always considered as a sin.
— Ezra Taft Benson
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Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership…
— Ambrose Bierce
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It could be argued that, in Thailand, many foreigners have come and gone, and the number of people who are…
— Bhumibol Adulyadej
See all 1,970 Considered Quotes »