Quote by Dwight Schrute

“I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongooseand a panther.”

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More by Dwight Schrute

I like the people that I work with, generally. With four exceptions. And I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriffs deputy to…

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My feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man.

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Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.

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How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammermercilessinsatiable

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The eyes are the groin of the head.

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There are 40 rules all Schrute boys must learn by age 5. Rule 17- There are 3 things you never turn your back on-…

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The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition wont receive the care they need because someone in this…

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Before I do anything I ask myself Would an idiot do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.

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I dont believe you, continue.

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He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious smoky rich flavor. Plus, you can…

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Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up I performed my own circumcision.

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Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of Oklahoma! in the 7th grade. I played the part of Mutey the Mailman.…

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