I like the people that I work with, generally. With four exceptions. And I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriffs… — Dwight Schrute Friendship Copy Share Image
Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms. — Dwight Schrute Copy Share Image
How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammermercilessinsatiable — Dwight Schrute Alpha male Copy Share Image
There are 40 rules all Schrute boys must learn by age 5. Rule 17- There are 3 things you never turn your… — Dwight Schrute Copy Share Image
The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition wont receive the care they need because someone… — Dwight Schrute Medicine Copy Share Image
Before I do anything I ask myself Would an idiot do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do… — Dwight Schrute Copy Share Image
He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious smoky rich flavor. Plus,… — Dwight Schrute Copy Share Image
Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up I performed my own circumcision. — Dwight Schrute Copy Share Image
Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of Oklahoma! in the 7th grade. I played the part of Mutey… — Dwight Schrute Copy Share Image
I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongooseand a panther. — Dwight Schrute Copy Share Image
You know whats better than a triceratops. Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed. — Dwight Schrute Copy Share Image
I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War Two veteran… — Dwight Schrute Blood pressure Copy Share Image
A 30-year mortgage at Michaels age essentially means that hes buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get… — Dwight Schrute Dead people Copy Share Image
“Do you know who the real heroes are? The guys who wake up every morning and go into their normal jobs, and… — Dwight Schrute Every morning Copy Share Image
Would I ever leave this company? Look, Im all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what Im being paid… — Dwight Schrute Business Copy Share Image
Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will. — Dwight Schrute Copy Share Image
I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then, my life was so great that I literally wanted a… — Dwight Schrute Life Copy Share Image
I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat.… — Dwight Schrute Animals Copy Share Image
Why tip someone for a job Im capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can,… — Dwight Schrute Kidney stones Copy Share Image
I am not a security threat, and my middle name is Kurt, not Fart. — Dwight Schrute Cybersecurity Copy Share Image
I dont care what Jim says, that is not Benjamin Franklin. I am 99% sure. — Dwight Schrute Copy Share Image
