Body language Quote by Chris Voss
““When you originally approved this trip, what did you have in mind?” He visibly relaxed as he sat back in his chair and brought the top of his fingers and thumbs together in the shape of a steeple. Generally this is a body language that means the person feels superior and in charge. “Listen,” he said, “just make sure you brief everyone when you get back.” That question, calibrated to acknowledge his power and nudge him toward explaining himself, gave him the illusion of control. And it got me just what I wanted.””
About This Quote
Source Interview: Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss, 2016
A calibrated question acknowledges authority while subtly directing the conversation to reveal needed information.
In simple terms: Ask a question that flatters but also steers the other person.
Key Takeaway
Use strategic questioning to gain insight.
Themes
communication
influence
power dynamics
negotiation
Mood
strategic
confident
Type
tactical
inspirational
When to use this quote
- Business meetings
- team debriefs
- client negotiations
- leadership coaching
Key Concepts
Psychology of authority
calibrated questioning
control illusion
Questions to Reflect On
- How can you balance respect and persuasion?
- When might this tactic backfire?
A Different Perspective
If the person feels manipulated, they may shut down.
