"Hey, have you heard that one about the……" — Chip Kidd

"Hey, have you heard that one about the difference between me, Wit, and my loutish cousin, Hilarity? No? Okay, so I walk into a bar, you see, very unassuming, and order a martini. Then the bartender, Hilarity, hauls off and squirts me in the face with a seltzer bottle, ruining my n ice new camel hair suit, dousing my monocle and my watch fob, soaking my cravat. So, do I let him have what for, and blow my top? I do not. I simply say: Sorry, I believe I said 'very dry'."

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15 Quotes by Chip Kidd

Chip Kidd has 15 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

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More Bar Quotes

This quote is filed under Bar Quotes, one of 855 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

Hemingway is terribly limited. His technique is good for short stories, for people who meet once in a bar very… — Wystan Hugh Auden
When a little more than a teenager, I was a piano-bar pianist in the land where I was born and… — Andrea Bocelli
The American legal industry is a medieval guild in which the prosecutors, bar, and bench join hands to ensure that… — Conrad Black
I started out mopping floors, waiting tables, and tending bar at my dad's tavern. I put myself through school working… — John Boehner
My dad and my uncles owned a bar outside of Cincinnati. I worked there growing up, mopping floors, waiting tables. — John Boehner
The need to be right all the time is the biggest bar to new ideas. — Edward de Bono
The girl I find who wants to talk about quantum theory in a bar is the one I want to… — Brandon Boyd
When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine. — David Brenner
I'm the type of person who doesn't want to sit alone in a restaurant or bar. — Malin Akerman
I can only say the first thing that pops into my mind is I remember, years ago, seeing kind of… — Jimmy Buffett
We have wasted History like a bunch of drunks shooting dice back in the men's crapper of the local bar. — Charles Bukowski
Now one thing I think is really lame, is if you're an artist and you go to a karaoke bar… — Jason Aldean

See all 855 Bar Quotes »