"A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit……" — Chelsea Handler
"A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim."
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Chelsea Handler
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107 Quotes by Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler has 107 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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First of all, who cares if people hate you? There's always a guarantee that certain people will dislike you. There's…
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It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to…
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I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have…
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Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.
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I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looking.
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Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator,…
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My whole life is reading tabloid magazines. It’s really sad, because that’s what my show is all about — what…
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Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing…
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Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one…
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Thanksgiving is coming. I wonder what the holiday will be like at Dog the Bounty Hunter’s house—obviously, they’ll have a…
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A Catholic priest who’s been sending threatening notes to Conan O’Brien was charged with stalking in the fourth degree. It…
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Angelina Jolie’s older brother James Haven, the one she made out with, has a license plate on his SUV that…
See all 107 quotes by Chelsea Handler »
More Allowed Quotes
This quote is filed under Allowed Quotes,
one of 2,088 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I love working with the right actor, and if the right actor happens to be unknown, that should be allowed,…
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Zionism was originally a rebellion against religious Judaism and the PLO Charter was essentially secularist. But because the conflict was…
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The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of…
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Canada is a balloon-puncturing country. You are not really allowed to be an icon unless you also make an idiot…
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Indian religion has always felt that since the minds, the temperaments and the intellectual affinities of men are unlimited in…
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I never took a grant or borrowed a penny from anybody. It was partially because I didn't really know how…
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People pay for what they do, and still more for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay…
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It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited…
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Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
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Generally speaking, actors are allowed NO input. Actors are dumb.
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Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if…
— Ambrose Bierce
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I believe that summer is our time, a time for the people, and that no politician should be allowed to…
— Lewis Black
See all 2,088 Allowed Quotes »