Best Witty Facebook Status Quotations

109 Witty Facebook Status quotes by 62 unique authors

In this world there isn't a single person from whom you cannot learn anything even from, a stupid you can learn how to not to… — Shubhanshu Tiwari
Life is hard, but it's harder if you're stupid. — Michael Crichton
Douche: hey Girl: Douche: HEY Girl: What? Douche: you know, there should be a warning sign on my dick Girl: Excuse me? Douche: Yeah, it… — Ella Rojas
If Facebook Doesn't Make You Happy Then You're Probably 'Liking' And Following The Wrong People... — Pacifiersucker
I love having a ceiling fan, although sometimes I wish he wouldn't cheer so loud when I'm trying to sleep — Hussein Nishah
Facebook is getting more and more funny.., it asks you What's Happening and in your friends wall it comes up when they click Load more… — Essekia Paul
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. If you chose… — Eugene Nathaniel Butler
If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm… — Nit
Why Tweet on Twitter when you can Fook on Facebook! — Unknown Author
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do. — Feras El-Jrary
Thinks there needs to be a no drama please button on Facebook. One click would be worth a thousand words. — Young Siddiq Prince
If you are going to be offended by other peoples opinions then maybe you should consider keeping yours to yourself — Young Siddiq Prince
I'm sorry.I didn't get the memo that said I had to blow sunshine up your ass today!! — Young Siddiq Prince
There was a time when I gave a shit, don't be confused, this ISN'T it! — Young Siddiq Prince
It's not called being a bitch or misunderstanding.It's called being realistic. I don't have time for petty bull shit. I can be gone just as… — Young Siddiq Prince
It's a good thing I actually care and ask , if you're going to be like that then I won't ask anymore. — Young Siddiq Prince
My mom thinks my friends have bad influences on me. Honestly I'm the one coming up with the ideas — Avalon
The first testicular gaurd, the *Cup*, was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took… — Harriet Morgan
Roses are red, Facebook is blue, you look bangable, so ill add you. — Aalaynah Thompson
Do not touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, it's not a wePhone, it's not an ourPhone. It's an iPhone. — Ritu Ghatourey
Facebook: the only book teens read these days. — Azgraybebly Joslan
I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his… — Ritu Ghatourey
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard — Ritu Ghatourey
If you don't pray in my school, I won't think in your church. — Ritu Ghatourey
You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do. — Ritu Ghatourey

Who Wrote These Witty Facebook Status Quotes

62 authors contributed a total of 109 Witty Facebook Status Quotes, led by these top contributors:

Best Witty Facebook Status Quotations

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Who Wrote These Witty Facebook Status Quotes