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Best Witty Quotes by Unknown Author
- You must forgive in order to live.
- The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
- I understand Food Stamps are for people who can't afford food. I can't afford gas. Where is my fuel stamps?
- If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're...you're...booty call!
- In school I was never the class clown, but more the class trapeze artist. I was always being suspended.
- Yesterday, at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how he prepared the chicken. He replied, "We don't...we just tell it straight that it's going to…
- Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
- Females : they hate it when you ask their age, but they'll kill you if you forget their birthday.
- A man with a dream. A very simple dream, mostly involving nachos and beer, but a dream nonetheless.
- Need to go to the pharmacy, because I'm so sick!
More Witty Quotes
- Under every stone lurks a politician. — Aristophanes
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- Wit is educated insolence. — Aristotle
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. — Aristotle
- Democracy arises out of the notion that those who are equal in any respect are equal in all respects; because men are… — Aristotle
- If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me. — Wystan Hugh Auden
- O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. — Saint Augustine
- Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. — Saint Augustine
- One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty. — Jane Austen
- Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. — Richard Bach
- If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. — Tallulah Bankhead