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Witty Quotes by Michael McIntyre
- My wife and I both made a list of 5 people we could sleep with...she read hers out and there were no surprises...1 George Clooney...2…
- I've got a little baby, I made him...He doesn't speak, he's 2...He's a slow learner, he's only got 2 words...car and map...I'm slightly worried he's…
- Normally you have news, weather and travel.....but not on snow day, on snow day news is weather is travel.
- They had to ask spain I think, they've had to say to Spain, can you lend us some stuff for the roads, and it's Gordon…
- So you're mother? Nice to put a name to a face.
- I'm glad Carol Vorderman has left Countdown, I mean it's not like she did much. She was effectively just an autistic shelf-stacker.
More Witty Quotes
- Under every stone lurks a politician. — Aristophanes
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- Wit is educated insolence. — Aristotle
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. — Aristotle
- Democracy arises out of the notion that those who are equal in any respect are equal in all respects; because men are… — Aristotle
- If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me. — Wystan Hugh Auden
- O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. — Saint Augustine