Waiter Quotes

150 quotes by 130 authors

Evil is unspectacular and always human, and shares our bed and eats at our own table. — Wystan Hugh Auden
When I was a kid, like 14 or 15, I played with the waiters from the hotel, 'cause that was the best game. And these… — Larry Bird
There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready… — Bill Bryson
I don't think you should be allowed to eat in a restaurant if you haven't waited tables at least once. It's so irritating when I… — Lizzy Caplan
It was a pleasant cafe, warm and clean and friendly, and I hung up my old water-proof on the coat rack to dry and put… — Ernest Hemingway
If you wait for inspiration, you're not a writer, but a waiter. — Louis L'Amour
The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada… — Erma Bombeck
There is an army of waiters in this world. — Henry Ward Beecher
I don't like Switzerland; it has produced nothing but theologians and waiters. — Oscar Wilde
I never taste the wine first in restaurants, I just ask the waiter to pour. — Nigella Lawson
I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress. — Jane Siberry
It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter. — Don Herold
It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs. — W. S. Gilbert
My father was and is a great father. My father always wanted to do stand-up. He wanted to be an actor. But instead he did… — Sherri Shepherd
The best number for a dinner party is two; myself and a damn good head waiter. — Nubar Gulbenkian
The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters. — Robert Morley
God finally caught his eye. — George S. Kaufman
A good setter is like a waiter. — Unknown Author
A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter. — Morey Amsterdam
When you find a waiter who is a waiter and not an actor, writer, musician or poet, you've found a jewel. — Andre Soltner

Who Wrote These Waiter Quotes

130 authors contributed a total of 150 Waiter Quotes, led by these top contributors: