Waiter Quotes
150 quotes by 130 authors
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Evil is unspectacular and always human, and shares our bed and eats at our own table.
— Wystan Hugh Auden
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When I was a kid, like 14 or 15, I played with the waiters from the hotel, 'cause that was the best game. And these…
— Larry Bird
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There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready…
— Bill Bryson
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I don't think you should be allowed to eat in a restaurant if you haven't waited tables at least once. It's so irritating when I…
— Lizzy Caplan
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It was a pleasant cafe, warm and clean and friendly, and I hung up my old water-proof on the coat rack to dry and put…
— Ernest Hemingway
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If you wait for inspiration, you're not a writer, but a waiter.
— Louis L'Amour
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada…
— Erma Bombeck
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There is an army of waiters in this world.
— Henry Ward Beecher
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I don't like Switzerland; it has produced nothing but theologians and waiters.
— Oscar Wilde
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I never taste the wine first in restaurants, I just ask the waiter to pour.
— Nigella Lawson
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I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress.
— Jane Siberry
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It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.
— Don Herold
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It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs.
— W. S. Gilbert
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My father was and is a great father. My father always wanted to do stand-up. He wanted to be an actor. But instead he did…
— Sherri Shepherd
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The best number for a dinner party is two; myself and a damn good head waiter.
— Nubar Gulbenkian
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The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.
— Robert Morley
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God finally caught his eye.
— George S. Kaufman
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A good setter is like a waiter.
— Unknown Author
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A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.
— Morey Amsterdam
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When you find a waiter who is a waiter and not an actor, writer, musician or poet, you've found a jewel.
— Andre Soltner
Who Wrote These Waiter Quotes
130 authors contributed a total of 150 Waiter Quotes, led by these top contributors: