Best Waiter Quotations
150 Waiter quotes by 130 unique authors
-
If I ever own a restaurant, I will never allow the waiters to ask if the diners like their dishes. Particularly when they're talking.
— Orson Welles
-
Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.
— Daniel Handler
-
Tyler gets me a job as a waiter, after that Tyler's pushing a gun in my mouth and saying, the first step to eternal life…
— Chuck Palahniuk
-
Meanwhile it's got stormy, the tattered fog even thicker, chasing across my path. Three people are sitting in a glassy tourist cafe between clouds and…
— Werner Herzog
-
...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.
— Eoin Colfer
-
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
— Dave Barry
-
He had lunch with Cecilia that afternoon. They ate their corned beef on rye and cream cheese with lox in a diner peopled by waiters…
— Mary Gaitskill
-
Insanity hovered close at hand, like an eager waiter at an expensive restaurant.
— Arundhati Roy
-
I am one of those who like to stay late at the cafe," the older waiter said. "With all those who do not want to…
— Ernest Hemingway
-
The young man called the waiter and paid. Then he got up and said to the girl: 'We're going.' Where to?' The girl feigned surprise.…
— Milan Kundera
-
Artemis: "Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre." Myles: "In Paris." Artemis: "Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot…
— Eoin Colfer
-
I have tipped waiters, and I have been tipped by waiters.
— George Orwell
-
The waiter approached. 'Would you like to see the menu?' he said. 'Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?' 'Huh?' said…
— Douglas Adams
-
...the waiters carried themselves with a quiet joy, as if their entire mission in life was to make their customers feel comfortable and well tended.
— Julia Child
-
Mexico admits you through an arched stone orifice into the tree-filled courtyard of its heart, where a dog pisses against a wall and a waiter…
— Barbara Kingsolver
-
A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air. "Why?" asks…
— Lynne Truss
-
For the world is broken, sundered, busted down the middle, self ripped from self and man pasted back together as mythical monster, half angel, half…
— Walker Percy
-
Honey, you need to get laid. (Selena) Why don’t you speak a little louder, Lanie? I don’t think the guys in Canada were able to…
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
-
Or more precisely, is there anything I can do for you, ma’am? (Waiter) ‘How about a bag for my head, or a stick to beat…
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
-
His face held a certain impassivity; you see it in all waiters and valets. They might want to jam a knife through your left eye…
— Ann Aguirre
-
Waiters will always pee in soup, people will always fall in love.
— Chuck Palahniuk
-
Twenty percent? What am I, your waiter? I got you five vampires, not a BLT.
— Richard Kadrey
-
The little waiter's eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion.
— Douglas Adams
-
Our favourite item was the balcony that overlooked the sea because it had an awning that you lowered by pressing an electric switch. The switch…
— Douglas Adams
-
But he could not taste, he could not feel. In the teashop among the tables and the chattering waiters the appalling fear came over him-…
— Virginia Woolf
More Ways to Read Waiter Quotes
Who Wrote These Waiter Quotes
130 authors contributed a total of 150 Waiter Quotes, led by these top contributors: