Porn Quotes

140 quotes by 96 authors

If I had my life to live over again, Id be a plumber. ~ Albert Einstein . He'd been inspired by porn for sure. — Amit Verma
Don't expect sex to be like porn. Don't expect dinner to be like the Food Network — Kevin McCarty
A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. he decided to test it at dinner: Dad: Son where were you today… — Unknown Author
I'd be a great mattress salesman coz I love removing pants for no reason and spending all day looking at porn. — Nikhil Saluja
A girl lets you watch porn. The woman helps you make up. — Nikhil Saluja
My best friend told me about a great 80's porn site. I fucking hope he meant the 1980's. — Nikhil Saluja
Had a dream that Paris Hilton shit on my face. That's it, no more Japanese porn before bed. — Shane Dawson
I'm shocked! The quality of porn videos these days is incredible. You can actually see the disappointment on their parents' face! — Nikhil Saluja
Rumors are like popup spam .. if you didn't do anything like visit porn sites, you wouldn't be having them — KM II
Porn Rule: When a woman sees a man's penis, she immediately places her mouth on it. All men have dicks at least 9 inches long… — Nikhil Saluja
Porn Rule: Women's panties become soaked with moisture at the slightest suggestion of sex. — Nikhil Saluja
Porn Rule: All women love to swallow. — Nikhil Saluja
Porn Rule: When a husband finds that his wife has been cheating on him, he is more turned on than angry. — Nikhil Saluja
Porn Rule: When a woman finds that her husband wants to watch her fuck other men, she thinks it a swell idea. — Nikhil Saluja
BEST INVENTION EVER: the Fast Forward Button. Without it we would be stuck watching the first two minutes of porn. — Nikhil Saluja
I like my women like I like watching my porn on the computer, fucking muted. — Nikhil Saluja
My wife just asked me to do something she saw in a porn movie: order a pizza. — Nikhil Saluja
I love when porn search engines make you spell words correctly. On the plus side, I'll always know bukake has two ks in it — Nikhil Saluja
Porn should automatically turn on when they hear the words, I can't sleep. — Nikhil Saluja
If you have issues with porn or sex scenes in movies, you probably have issues with your own sexuality. -D. — D Michael Hardy

Who Wrote These Porn Quotes

96 authors contributed a total of 140 Porn Quotes, led by these top contributors: