Poop Quotes

77 quotes by 64 authors

Poop humor is fun. If you do the toilet scenes well and commit to them, they can be really, really powerful. — Sandra Bullock
If aliens are watching us through telescopes, they're going to think the dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms,… — Jerry Seinfeld
I poop in the backyard... I wear disposable diapers. — David Duchovny
The great thing about having a bunch of kids is that they just remind you that you're the person who takes them to go poop.… — Angelina Jolie
My life was once whiskey, tears and cigarettes... now it's snot, tears and a color of poop. Bliss. I do miss the whiskey, though. — Pink
They tell you that at his age, all they do is eat, sleep, and poop. And what I've learned is they can actually do all… — Josh Duhamel
All these people talk so eloquently about getting back to good old-fashioned values. Well, as an old poop I can remember back to when we… — Kurt Vonnegut
If you're really a mean person you're going to come back as a fly and eat poop. — Kurt Cobain
Sometimes, music is like poop. It just has to come out. — Mark Salling
Woke up this morning to the incredible news that I was nominated for an Emmy, and a shower full of dog poop. Apparently my dog… — Martha Plimpton
If you haven't noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of… — Aisha Tyler
Basement smells bad. Look for cat poops, change litter. — Martha Stewart
We're wild horses. We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes. We're protected by federal law, just like… — Dave Barry
Well, on that day I ceased cleansing my body. No more brushing my teeth, no more washing my hair, no baths, no soap, no water.… — Ted Nugent
I don't think twice about picking up my dog's poop, but if another dog's poop is next to it, I think, 'Eww, dog poop! — Jonah Goldberg
I do not care about the greatest good for the greatest number . . . Most people are poop-heads I do not care about them… — James Alan Gardner
I'll eat a nugget of my own poop for 20 bucks. I'll pay you 20 bucks and I'll eat it. — Tom DeLonge
I've always learned on-the-job, in real time. A problem comes up; I research it, and try to solve it. You can't study to be an… — Tom Szaky
Dogs are animals that poop in public and you're supposed to pick it up. After a week of doing this, you've got to ask yourself,… — Anthony Griffin
Everybody looks at their poop. — Oprah Winfrey

Who Wrote These Poop Quotes

64 authors contributed a total of 77 Poop Quotes, led by these top contributors: