Oven Quotes
146 quotes by 129 authors
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Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt!
— Robin Williams
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Man does not live by a turkey in every oven or a color TV set in every home. Man lives by faith and hope and…
— E. Merrill Root
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Say you were standing with one foot in the oven and one foot in an ice bucket. According to the percentage people, you should be…
— Bobby Bragan
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Russian vodka is OK if you need to clean the oven. For drinking, it must henceforth be Polish.
— Hugh Laurie
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My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.
— Tracy Morgan
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My favorite comfort food would have be braised beef. You know, beef, slow-cooked in a Dutch oven or in a slow cooker until it falls…
— Tyler Florence
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Just because a chicken was born in the oven doesn't make it a biscuit.
— Jesse Jackson
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I can do basics, but I'm not a proper cook. I can do a roast. I can stick a chicken in the oven with vegetables.
— Lesley Nicol
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You can put a cat in an oven, but that don't make it a biscuit.
— Wesley Snipes
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I love roasting because you can give it love, get it in the oven and go and play with the kids or whatever you've got…
— Jamie Oliver
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For years, I stored my sweaters in the oven.
— Lesley Visser
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Mitch's Pizzaria... this week's coupon: unlimited free pizza. Special Note: coupon not good at any of the Mitch's Pizza locations. Free pizza oven with purchase…
— Mitch Hedberg
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I could learn photography. That could be something to want. I could photograph children. I could have my own children. I would give them yellow…
— Gia Carangi
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Orphans, dead parents, lonely children at Christmas, morose spoken word recordings, everything you love about the holidays. Move the turkey over so you can fit…
— April Winchell
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I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there was a cake in it.
— Lesley Boone
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At Thanksgiving, my mom always makes too much food, especially one item, like 700 or 800 pounds of sweet potatoes. She's got to push it…
— Louie Anderson
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One fine day as my mother was putting the bread in the oven, I went up to her and taking her by her flour-smeared elbow…
— Marc Chagall
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I always give my bird a generous butter massage before I put it in the oven. Why? Because I think the chicken likes it --…
— Julia Child
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Germans grew reluctant to stay in communal ski lodges, fearing they might talk in their sleep. They postponed surgeries because of the lip-loosening effects of…
— Erik Larson
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Hell came right along with God, hand in hand. The stink of sulfur swirled in the air of the church, fire burned in the aisles,…
— Harry Crews
Who Wrote These Oven Quotes
129 authors contributed a total of 146 Oven Quotes, led by these top contributors: