Oven Quotes

146 quotes by 129 authors

Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt! — Robin Williams
Man does not live by a turkey in every oven or a color TV set in every home. Man lives by faith and hope and… — E. Merrill Root
Say you were standing with one foot in the oven and one foot in an ice bucket. According to the percentage people, you should be… — Bobby Bragan
Russian vodka is OK if you need to clean the oven. For drinking, it must henceforth be Polish. — Hugh Laurie
My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality. — Tracy Morgan
My favorite comfort food would have be braised beef. You know, beef, slow-cooked in a Dutch oven or in a slow cooker until it falls… — Tyler Florence
Just because a chicken was born in the oven doesn't make it a biscuit. — Jesse Jackson
I can do basics, but I'm not a proper cook. I can do a roast. I can stick a chicken in the oven with vegetables. — Lesley Nicol
You can put a cat in an oven, but that don't make it a biscuit. — Wesley Snipes
I love roasting because you can give it love, get it in the oven and go and play with the kids or whatever you've got… — Jamie Oliver
For years, I stored my sweaters in the oven. — Lesley Visser
Mitch's Pizzaria... this week's coupon: unlimited free pizza. Special Note: coupon not good at any of the Mitch's Pizza locations. Free pizza oven with purchase… — Mitch Hedberg
I could learn photography. That could be something to want. I could photograph children. I could have my own children. I would give them yellow… — Gia Carangi
Orphans, dead parents, lonely children at Christmas, morose spoken word recordings, everything you love about the holidays. Move the turkey over so you can fit… — April Winchell
I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there was a cake in it. — Lesley Boone
At Thanksgiving, my mom always makes too much food, especially one item, like 700 or 800 pounds of sweet potatoes. She's got to push it… — Louie Anderson
One fine day as my mother was putting the bread in the oven, I went up to her and taking her by her flour-smeared elbow… — Marc Chagall
I always give my bird a generous butter massage before I put it in the oven. Why? Because I think the chicken likes it --… — Julia Child
Germans grew reluctant to stay in communal ski lodges, fearing they might talk in their sleep. They postponed surgeries because of the lip-loosening effects of… — Erik Larson
Hell came right along with God, hand in hand. The stink of sulfur swirled in the air of the church, fire burned in the aisles,… — Harry Crews

Who Wrote These Oven Quotes

129 authors contributed a total of 146 Oven Quotes, led by these top contributors: