Insult Quotes

762 quotes by 556 authors

Has it ever occurred to you that there might be a difference between having an open mind and having holes in one's head? — Unknown Author
Every great thinker is someone else's moron. — Umberto Eco
When you're away, I'm restless, lonely, wretched, bored, dejected; only here's the rub, my darling dear, I feel the same when you're near. — Samuel Hoffenstein
Shaw writes plays for the ages, the ages between five and twelve. — George Jean Nathan
I don't mind sharing the blame if she'll just admit she started it. — Matt Groening
How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed? — Matt Groening
I'm not going to stop torturing myself till I figure out the cause of my pain. — Matt Groening
Dahling, when God put teeth in your mouth, he ruined a perfectly good arsehole. — Neil Gaiman
You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving. — Rodney Dangerfield
Disrespect cannot be commanded, it must be earned. — Unknown Author
Don't say yes until I finish talking. — Darryl F. Zanuck
He has the vocal modulation of a railway-station announcer, the expressive power of a fence-post and the charisma of a week-old head of lettuce. — Unknown Author
They turned the country up on its side, and everything loose fell into California. — Frank Lloyd Wright
Nobody's too fat - they're just too short. — Sam Ewing
If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it's probably worth it. — Sam Ewing
When a husband says, "I run things in my home" he may mean the washing machine, the dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner. — Sam Ewing
Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you? — Groucho Marx
He's a real gentleman. I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it. — Shirley MacLaine
You see, it's essential that one of us stays awake during the flight [ballon]. So, rather than using the comfortable Virgin seats which we used… — Richard Branson
Your reality, Sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever! — Unknown Author

Who Wrote These Insult Quotes

556 authors contributed a total of 762 Insult Quotes, led by these top contributors: