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I Guarantee You Quotes by P.J. O'Rourke
1 I Guarantee You quote by P.J. O'Rourke
More Quotes by P.J. O'Rourke
P.J. O'Rourke has 585 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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Marijuana is self-punishing. It makes you acutely sensitive, and in this world, what worse punishment could there be?
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Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for…
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Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
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The neo-hippie-dips, the sentimentality-crazed iguana anthropomorphizers, the Chicken Littles, the three-bong-hit William Blakes- thank God these people don't actually go outdoors much,…
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There is only one basic human right: the right to do as you please, without causing others harm. With it comes our…
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A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.
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Violence is interesting. This is a great obstacle to world peace and also to more thoughtful television programming.
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Anyhow, all mankind's ideas and interests, all human aims and motives, are exhibited, fully formed, in a three-year-old child. The kid is…
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Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.
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Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks.
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Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. It…
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You can smoke or drink on a golf course without interrupting the game, and you can take a leak - something you…
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More I Guarantee You Quotes
Popular I Guarantee You quotes from across the collection:
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They say the first World Series is the one you remember most. No, no no. I guarantee you don't remember that one…
— Sparky Anderson
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Try handling problems in the office as dispassionately as you can and I guarantee you will have a better time of it;…
— Suze Orman
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I tell you what really fries my ass. When somebody gets on me for the way I look. Fat. Overweight. Well, I…
— Bobby Knight
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I guarantee you, if you could give me 10 points in all those seventh games against the Boston Celtics, instead of Bill…
— Wilt Chamberlain
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You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win, no matter what the outcome.
— Robin Williams
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Forget about getting, simply give; and I guarantee you, you will get much.
— Rajneesh
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If you want to take your mission in life to the next level, if you're stuck and you don't know how to…
— Bruce Jenner
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Diets are a fool’s errand. I eat something sweet every day, whether it’s chocolate or a cookie. If I don’t, I guarantee…
— Evangeline Lilly
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I challenge you, to go to any school and open 50 lunchboxes, and I guarantee you there will be one or two…
— Jamie Oliver
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Here's what happens when you die--you sit in a box and get eaten by worms. I guarantee you that when you die,…
— Howard Stern
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Failure is all a matter of perspective. Think of all the people you admire. I guarantee you they all failed at one…
— Jillian Michaels
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You need to really scrub your investment portfolios, because I guarantee you, many of you are going to find them chock-full of…
— Al Gore
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