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Golf Quotes by Bruce Lansky
- Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
- What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?
- Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
- On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied.
- I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the…
- The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.
- Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I'd rather play in a…
- I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing.
- We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance.
- I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.
- My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.
- Golf has more rules than any other game because golf has more cheaters than any other game
More Golf Quotes
- I still don't get golf. — Lance Armstrong
- It's nice to win. I'll never win again. I may have to take up golf - take on Tiger. — Lance Armstrong
- Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net. — Franklin P. Adams
- Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry
- For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. — Dave Barry
- Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. — Jack Benny
- I enjoy now doing what I do... playing golf, relaxing a little, enjoying life. — Yogi Berra
- I didn't know much about golf growing up. — Yogi Berra
- You can spend the money on new housing for poor people and the homeless, or you can spend it on a football… — Jello Biafra
- Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. — Jim Bishop
- I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes… — Lewis Black
- If I get a week off, I'll go to a hotel that has a golf course. I like to come downstairs and… — Lewis Black