Best Funny Marriage Proverbs

244 Funny Marriage quotes by 163 unique authors

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. — Henny Youngman
A man's wife has more power over him than the state has. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. — Groucho Marx
A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once. — Ed Wynn
Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener. — Unknown Author
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up. — Ogden Nash
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished. — Zsa Zsa Gabor
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. — Oscar Wilde
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband — Hussein Nishah
A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions. — Melchor Lim
Marry the ugliest girl but then she should be the smartest one. — Charles Elba
Men can cry because they don't wear mascara — Charles Elba
Calories are yummy — Charles Elba
Marriage is a WORKSHOP. Where man works and woman shops! — Nishan Panwar
I can't wait to be married. It's going to be so great to find that one special person I want to annoy for the rest… — Ana Chable
Marriage is a hunting permit that entitles you to only one dear at a time. — Vikrant Parsai
Whoever keeps his mouth shut when he realizes that he is wrong is wise and he who holds the mouth even if he is right… — Vikrant Parsai
I guess you'll never appreciate your freedom as a SINGLE until you finally find yourself in the four walls of MARRIAGE. — Terry Mark
I married Mr.Right I just never new his first name was NEVER. — Unknown Author
The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn't around to propose to her. — Jarod Kintz
Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together. — Unknown Author
It's funny when people discuss over 'love marriage' and 'arranged marriage' It is like asking a person if he would like to 'hang himself' or… — Pacifiersucker
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always wrong and the other is the wife... — Raghav Singh
A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. She got out of bed and checked around… — Harriet Morgan
A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke. — Hussein Nishah

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