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Funny Marriage Quotes by Red Skelton
- She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So…
- I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested…
- I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always
More Funny Marriage Quotes
- No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. — Honore de Balzac
- My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact. — Roseanne Barr
- Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. — Joey Adams
- A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle. — Charles Baudelaire
- Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. — Erma Bombeck
- 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? — George Carlin
- If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. — Johnny Carson
- The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. — Cher
- Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. — Gilbert K. Chesterton
- It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you… — Agatha Christie
- In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. — Woody Allen
- Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. — Woody Allen